Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Fuckhoo News: 3 Ways to Pick Up a Lady
We know how much the tired old pick-up tactics used on women at the bar are working these days, and let's face it, pulling on a girl's hair like you're in Grade 2 might be a better strategy than the one you're currently using. So we at Fuckhoo News have 3 exciting new pick-up tricks that are full of creativity and will be sure to intrigue whoever that special woman is you are trying to pick up.
1. Kick her butt. Don't do it hard, but give her ass a firm tap with the toe of your shoe. Do it from a few feet away, so that she turns around and isn't sure at first of who kicked her butt. Once she realizes it's you, take full responsibility for the butt kick and act like she's lucky you chose her ass to kick. And then tell her you're from Langley, BC. And mean it.
2. Trip her. If the butt kick doesn't work, try and trip her when you're sitting at your table and she's walking by. If you trip her you will for sure gain her attention, and she might even fall right into your lap!
3. Throw a lemon at her head. If all else fails, throw a lemon wedge from your drink right at her head. Try to aim so that it slaps her cheek and explodes all over her face on impact. This one is the magic weapon to use if all else fails.
Good luck with your pick-up pursuits men!