Monday, February 2, 2009

Gifts For Your First Valentines Together

IN RESPONSE TO MSN's Valentines Day Gift Ideas for a New Relationship

Valentines Day can be an awkward time of year, especially if you are a newly blossoming couple who haven't exchanged "I hate you's" yet. Fuckhoo has come up with a few helpful solutions for gifts to throw at your new flame and keep it burning this Valentines day.

1. Cook an Aphrodisiac Meal.
Why book a reservation at a second rate restaurant when you could cook dinner for your loved one in the comfort of your cozy sexnest? Not only is it a fun activity the two of you can do naked together, you can also experiment with kitchen utensils. Ever used a spatula? Wooden spoon? Whisk? A baster? Pepper mill? Cheese grater? Vegetable peeler? Paring knife? Meat pounder? Rolling pin? Meat thermometer? Knife sharpener? Mortar and pestle? Magic bullet? Panini maker? Food processer? Pizza slicer? All of these and everything else in your kitchen, you can experiment with on each-others' bodies as well as in them. Once you have your utensils warmed up, it's time to cook! Fuckhoo suggests eating foods that get your sexual juices flowing, also known as aphrodisiacs. These foods include pussies and dick, pussies and dick, pussies and dick, and rum balls.

2. Show Them You've Been Watching
If you are new to a relationship, a good way to get to know your partner on a deeper level is to spy on them when they're not looking. It's easy to do if you are their girlfriend or boyfriend, and they will never suspect that you were actually peeping at them from their closet while you were "out for a smoke." When you're hiding in the bathtub while she is changing her tampon, check to see what brand of feminine hygene she uses. Fuckhoo recommends buying her a box of Tampax Pearl for her next period. Girls, when spying on your man, Fuckhoo strongly suggests that you also snoop through his personal belongings to find out what kind of sport or porn he likes. If he likes both, why not get him this ?

3. Sniff The Flower Down The Garden Path To Sex
Flowers are never taboo. Unlike children, animals, and babies, flowers are a wonderful sex gift. For something super-soft and anal friendly, buy your man a stick of pussy willows. For her, get something that resembles her beautiful vagina, like orchids.

4. Don't Forget The Furry Friend.
Make sure to get her something she can slide up her pussy. Fuckhoo reccomends the following toys:
EZ Rider Fuck Ball
Joy Finger
The Fist
Parachute Ball Stretcher (for him)
Nanny Cam (for all of you)